My kids moved to a different country and my mother had a stroke. It is usually a wake-up call that makes us change, right? My story is not different from yours. Once I had lost my most loved ones, I decided to make a 180-degree change and to have a more meaningful, healthy and spiritual life.
I was heartbroken. Suddenly, I began to have a lot of time for insight. Meditation was a consistent fragment of my daily routine for the previous ten years or so. I was able to draw most of my attention straight to myself… to my emotions. Sharing my thoughts and feelings with a couple of good friends was also part of the transition. After overcoming sadness, the sensation I had was of not belonging to my old home, to my old routine and I am not made for monotony. Therefore, I had the opportunity to find myself.
I understood I had spent most of my life being (or at least trying to be) a good student, daughter, friend, worker, wife, mother, and leader. My life was devoted to the people that surrounded me. Of course, self-care and indulgence were part of the equation: spa days, nice restaurants, relaxing time, or just enjoying a view. After my close ones were gone, I was at that point where nothing from the outside could fulfill that inner yearning for something more.
How did I get from sorrow to contentment? With inner reflection, particularly in those profound moments of meditation. It was a revelation, an instantaneous understanding. I was in a place of dread. I feared to be alone. Maybe because of attachments. Maybe I had given others that power over my well-being. I had to regain my peace. It couldn’t depend on something else nor someone else but me. I felt I had nothing to do more than pray and wish the best. I started working on intentions, visualizing an ideal situation and just letting it go, leaving it up to the Universe, the Holy Spirit, or whatever you want to call it, to get the best for everyone.
By that time, I had that something… I had peace, joy, and love within me. There were also healthy habits, like exercise, proper nutrition, and meaningful social interaction. Although I cherished my job, I realized that my soul was thirsty for more human and divine connection, for learning further and getting closer to the One we all are. Those periods into a cold office, a strict schedule and a perfect outfit, were becoming tiring for me.
It didn’t take long to make my mind, being honest to my true self. I wanted to move closer to my kids, deepen spiritual teachings and more meditation and yoga. When the decision was made, I said goodbye to my old job, my friends (the toughest part) and most of my belongings. I spent 5 years in a lovely Merida, Mexico. Two suitcases and tons of spirit with me! Angels shown through human bodies helped me to settle, and I found myself with the perfect teachers nearby. The best books came to my reach. Wonderful yoga and meditation practice popped up around the corner and the warmest arms of my new family hugging me. Every broken piece was getting back to its rightful place effortlessly.
Right there, I met veganism. Years before I had stopped indulging in many foods that simply didn’t feel well in my body, so it was pretty easy for me to start that path. A plant-based diet enriched my life so deep that, I am sure, made my awareness even clearer than before. Sometimes I compare digestion to emotions. The same way my stomach was lighter, I freed my sentiments to be felt, expressed and released. Not carrying extra baggage any longer. Being emotional is not a reason to apologize. It is perfect to be vulnerable and in fact, that is what allows us to connect. Talking my truth and being authentic, to others and especially to me, has brought a permanent smile to my face.
From where I am standing now, I can see I didn’t change, nor adapted, nor evolved. I permitted my heart to guide me, my soul to be expressed, my thoughts to be focused, and my body to naturally heal. Everything that was always inside me in a shy corner is now blooming and being shared through all. That is the way I operate and it might be natural for me to follow my heart, but I am sure anyone can learn to do it… even you. Some people may find it useful to write down a list of pros and cons, a SWOT chart, a coach, a hand reader, you name it. At the end of the day, the last word lies within you. The struggle to change is so more worthy than the pain of being where you don’t want to.
I praise my life, I am grateful for everything and everyone around me! I am so blissful for being able to meet people like me, like you. We can enjoy together that connection, experience oneness and expansion. And as I say every day: ‘spread peace wherever you go’.